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Saturday, September 29, 2007
28 September 2007
Friday2335
God… I don’t even know what’s the date today! Today was the graduation ceremony and it was pretty boring… Got my report book back… Though it wasn’t really good la but I think… I’ve really improved a lot… Lolz… Quite happy with my results. Practicals are just 2 weeks away! Feel really tensed up le… Prelims I got 24 points… Not even 20 points la! Must put in more effort le! Things have been going really fast and I’ve been really feeling so tired… But whenever I lie on my bed, I cant sleep la! Don’t know why… Lolz… Things have been okay la, eversince my last post, I can handle la, for now since I’m so damn busy… Lolz… These days, really thanks to my friends!!!! Xinrui, Joyce, Fion, my both godbrothers, Scze We… Think that’s all ba! Those I’ve left out thanks guys! Just a short one today… Just to assure you all that im still alive, somewhere. Lolz… This WILL be the last post le! Promise!!! I’ll continue after the Os k! Love you guys! [Trying to open my eyes. Lolz]
her sweet memory was written @ 10:57 AM
Monday, September 24, 2007
24 September 2007
Monday1450
Today is the day we break up… It has only been 1 month and 15 days and a lot of posts about him… Ya, I knew this was coming, sooner or later… I knew his heart wasn’t with me but yet he would always assure me and it seems that I also did quite a lot of living denial… He still hasn’t given up on his ex. This doubt has always been on my mind but I would push it far far back and not allow it to surface. Until today… I knew she has always hold an important position in his heart. In the morning I was already disappointed with him le. Had a black face until after recess. He asked yesterday how did I recover from my past break ups. I told him and he asked how long did I take to recover and will it affect me a lot. I told him 2-3 months and it would but I would keep myself busy and I asked what about him. He said that his ex’s request to break up with him affected him a lot, even now. I was like… WHAT? I thought he had already given up on her. Then I asked if he still feels sad and heartbroken for his ex. He said yes. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t reply. Today, after school, he asked why didn’t I reply his sms yesterday… I told him that I didn’t know what to say because I thought that he had already given up on her. He told me that when he looks at his ex (they’re still good friends), he still has feelings for her… Then I asked him… Then what does he want me to do… Wait for him to get over her and want me to give him up… He says he don’t know and ask me, instead, what he should do… I told him that I had a feeling that he couldn’t let her go… He agreed. So I initiated the break. I guess he wanted to break too ba, just that he didn’t dared to say it. I don’t know… This time, he didn’t even liu zhu wo… When I think back at the time when this happened, I remembered how he assured me and all… But, I guess… This time it wouldn’t happen… That’s it… I don’t know what to say… Im not going to blog until after the Os. Bye guys… [Crying…]
her sweet memory was written @ 5:09 PM
Friday, September 21, 2007
21 September 2007
Friday 2213
Today I was really high and all. You can ask Melissa and the rest. But especially Melissa. Lolz. I was practically hitting her and laughing out loud, keep saying how happy I was. Lolz… Yesterday went to his house… No parental supervision! Lolz… He was so pig la. We agreed to meet at 3p.m. la… Then when I reached his house downstairs at 3.10p.m., he wa still sleeping!!! Lolz… But, anyway, he got up and at the time, while waiting for him at the void deck, enjoying the breeze and there wasn’t anything to do anyway so I typed out my feelings for then: “now at his house downstairs, waiting for him to wash up… Apparently, he just woke up. Lolz… nothing amazing… Just thinking… Im actually going to my stead’s house with no parental supervision and Im actually waiting downstairs for that someone… It seemed something that my ex would do… Don’t know why, but this time Im actually giving instead of taking… It seems so weird… Think it’s only when you give instead of taking you’ll actually be scared that the other person will leave you… ‘Cause you did make an effort… Really hope that I don’t get hurt…” Then, after that, after walking around trying to remember where his house was, found it and went in. Lolz… Then, he finally played the piano!!!! Lolz… Really enjoyed it la… Hehe… Then cause I didn’t want to study mah so he, as usual, went to switch on his computer and we watched bleach and Lovely complex until 6p.m. Lovely complex was really funny la!!! Then, most of the whole time was lying on him… Hehe… After that went home, neck pain. LOL!!! Anyway, really really feel that it was total bliss la! Then, today he got sick! Again la! Damn! So far it seems that whenever I go to his house, the next day he’ll get sick la! Think… I found out a lot more about him le ba… Some things that I cant write here but will write in my personal diary… Hmmm… nowadays… Things have been good ba… Got back my combine science paper today… Passed well for Physics… Heng… 47.5/65… Lolz… Overall, 69%… Remember I said that this time’s combine science grade I’ll get it for him? When I saw that I actually passed well for Physics, was kinda hoping that I’ll get a A for combine science… But, got disappointed… Damn! Just by one mark la!!! Heart pain sia! So far… 10 points for L1R5 le… Hope I can pass my English… Combine Humanities cant really hope much ‘cause I know I wont pass my Geo… Another long post! Next week onwards wont le ba… Next week is the start of Night study! Finally! Plan to go everyday… Think if I stay at home I so wont study. So, from tomorrow onwards, I’ll only update on Friday. K la, I gtg le, Bye guys! [Feel weird… feel kinda jealous, at the same time scared ba…]
her sweet memory was written @ 11:42 PM
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
18 September 2007
Tuesday 2002
Aachoo! Sniff Hey… Been sneezing for almost the whole day. Since yesterday was sick le… Had sore thoart on Saturday, didn’t tell my parents. Then, who knew, they cooked curry chicken on Sunday!! I know! So ate la then yesterday had fever but didn’t tell my parents. Went to school as usual but took a panadol from Jia Ying in the morning. Didn’t really work la, still felt warm all morning… After school went home ate lunch, showered then went to his house to study… Yeah, finally! But didn’t really do much also. He gave me his Chem 5 year series since he was giving up on it. I tried to teach him la… But… he yawned and didn’t seem interested so gave up after awhile. Went to his house for the first time and honestly, I felt really nervous. Lolz… Don’t know why also la… Then during the few hours I spent there, His mum kept playing with him. Lolz… Lucky him, got such a Mum. Can really see that his mum loves him a lot. Envious… But I guess, in life, you gain some, you lose some. That’s only fair… Though didn’t really learn anything about Physics la but learned a lot about him. Lolz… Then when he was reading comic and me trying to do Physics, our arm touched la then he said I felt really warm then insisted that I ate a panadol. I told him that I ate already. He asked when then I said in the morning then he gave an expression. Lolz… Zhen xihuan ta guan xin wo de gan jue wor… Lolz… Then, after that my fever went down and was okay le… But today, during Maths ba, caught the flu from god knows who la… Then, somemore sore thoart, alittle cough. Can die ah! He caught the fever from me so he was absent today. Lolz… Paiseh ben dan! He still owe me something!!!! Lolz. Cant wait! By the way, I got back my E maths and Chinese marks le. Both got A2, 74%. So far… 7 points le… Bio I got 48/90… I know, nothing fantastic la… But… just happy that I didn’t fail. Lolz. Knew I’ll fail Bio la… Then, S.S and English we’ll get back only next week. Heard that we did quite badly and they’re reviewing, hoping to save us. This time round, I just hope that I can get below 20 points for my L1R5, that’s all Im hoping for le… Been thinking a lot today though I was practically sneezing my brains out. Lolz… So, here’s what I’ve thought about:
Sometimes, things arent that complicated, if not we’ll look the matter at another point of view, things would be different. Dan chun jiu shi jian dan. Just believe with all your heart, zhi yao dan chun de xiang xing, miracles can happen. Believe, trust and look forward. Be grateful for the small miracles that are happening, thank the little misfortunes that happen to make you learn and pick up where you left off. Whenever we look forward, believe, not hope too much, miracles do happen! Trust me. It’s only when we hope too much will we face with a great disappointment. As long as we don’t think too much, put in our best effort in whatever we do and just hope for the best, good things will come your way and it’s only then do we appreciate and cherish these little miracles. No matter how big or how small the miracle is, remember to cherish and treasure it, treat it as your first and last miracle! Trust me k, it really works. Just don’t hope too much, if it turns out negative, you’ll have to face with an even greater disappointment that you cant cope and you’ll feel that you’ll never be able to stand up and carry on with life… Zhi yao dan chun xiang xing, qi ji shi hui chu xian de!! Jian dan jiu shi kuai le!
K, another long post. Lolz. So hope tomorrow my flu will be okay by tomorrow so I can enjoy what ben dan owes me! Gtg! Bye!!!! [Sneezing away, tired…]
her sweet memory was written @ 8:34 PM
Friday, September 14, 2007
14 September 2007
Friday
2232
Heyhey!! Today was suppose to be a good day la, according to my horoscope… But, clumsy me, dropped a test-tube in Chem. But Mrs Sundrum didn’t hear so Hoon Siang helped me dispose it off. Lolz. Then, today 7 people didn’t come la! Then got back our A maths results. To me, I really think that I did not bad… Paper one was good la, 42/80. But my paper 2. LOL. That’s the rainbow! 68/80! Was trying to get an A for A maths. But fell short of about 2-3 marks. Yeah! This proves that I have the potential de! I raised my C grade up to a B grade! Hope I can get an A for my Os! You know, didn’t I say that it seems that Im falling for Physics ma? Thought about it just now and it seems that understanding Physics is like liking someone. It takes time to understand a person, you might not like some flaws of that person. But as you know the person more and more and his/her good qualities show out, you feel that you can actually just see the person’s good qualities and “bao rong” the person’s flaws… And, suddenly, the person becomes perfect. There is no such thing as a perfect person la but an in-perfect person is a perfect one. If you know what I mean la… Lolz… It’s like Physics… At first, I didn’t like Physics because I didn’t and couldn’t understand it, just like if we cant understand a person, we wouldn’t be close to him/her! Then, if we try to understand the topic, we see the easy and interesting facts and suddenly, you understand it and it’s easy and of course you’ll like it! Just like liking a person! Cool rite?! Lolz… Know it seems kinda dumb la… But… Come on la! It’s after the prelims so my brain can only come up with this theory… Lolz… 5 more weeks le… Cant wait for the Os to come!!!! Lol! K la, stop here for today! [Tired… Trying to figure out more of Physics!]
her sweet memory was written @ 10:54 PM
Thursday, September 13, 2007
13 September 2007
Thursday
2005
IM BACK!!!! Finally, it’s the end of prelims! Though I think Im going to fail my Humanities and Biology and might score well for my combine Science, IT’S OVER!!! Just so glad that it’s finally over and I can breathe again! Been feeling so stressed these days… Lolz… But, the prelims are really… Hmmm… Useful ba, in a sense that I now know how much I have to cover before the Os start in 5 weeks time. Don’t know why, feel that actually… Physics… is quite easy! I know… Shocked right? Me, a Physics hater saying that Physics is easy… LOL… But, eversince I started studying Physics and taking the paper on Tuesday, feel… like… I’ve fallen for Physics. LOL… As Mrs Chan often say, FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR TEXTBOOK!!! Lolz… Guess I like Physics. Hope though the paper was easy, I managed to do well. PLEASE!!!! Think besides these 3 subjects, I can do well for the rest. Hopefully ba… Things have been the same for me and him ba… Nothing much happening ba, I guess, to me la… think… Im slowly maturing le, learning a lot from him… For example, learning to trust more, trying not to think too much, giving people more space, looking at the big picture and standing in his shoes. To me la, think this relationship is more mature than my past relationships… K, wont tell you guys too much… Lolz… but here’s a piece of advice I found really useful:
Relationships-of all kinds-are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains as it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold on to some of it but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But held too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost…
Nice right? Kind of true also ba… k la, stop here for today! [Tired but happy…]
her sweet memory was written @ 9:53 PM
her sweet memory was written @ 10:08 PM
Thursday, September 6, 2007
6 September 2007
Thursday1615
Thanks to Pengrui, Guoxiong, Xinrui, Scze We, ben dan and Joyce, I’ve “overcomed” the huge problem I had! Okay, not all was solved la but at least the major one was solved. Thanks guys!! It’s already Thursday le. Next week is another week of Prelims exams… It’s until Thursday and I can do it de! Must tahan and work hard and stop looking over to my handphone to see if ben dan got sms not. Ahh!!! Must concentrate!! I’ve already started on A and E maths le. And also, I’ve also, FINALLY touched my Physics textbook!! So far… did a few of the 5 year series questions and there are a few that I don’t understand why that’s the answer la… But, there’s always a Physics genius who said that he’ll teach me Physics and Chinese but havent even started on any la! Lolz… okay, maybe its partly my fault ‘cause I cant really go out. Hehe… But then he also said something about if I can get an A for Physics he’ll start on his Chem… So, I’m going to work on my Physics for him. Ben dan! You better start studying ah! Zhe ci de sub Science grade wo shi na gai ni de hor! Hopefully got improve sia. If not later get a C or something so paiseh… Lolz… Time really passes so fast sia. It’s almost one month le! Haiz… One month le… Don’t know how long we’ll last sia… Kinda worried that after the Os we’ll drift apart… K la! Bu jiang le. Bye le! [Alittle worried, missing ben dan…]
her sweet memory was written @ 8:16 PM
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
4 September 2007 Tuesday2209 Been worried since yesterday… My bill came yesterday… And, well… It exceeded by a lot… I sent out 2000+ sms… Yeah… I know… So lihai of me… But… Haiz… I’ve been really worried what my dad will say when he sees the bill… I’ve also thought of many excuses la… But for now still stuck with the my friends got problems and so I helped them theory with abit of twist that I came up with at about 6pm… Decided to ask my godbrother to help as I know… By these 4 friends’ problems, its not enough to create 2000+ sms la… I was thinking that maybe I could tell my parents that on top of all my friends’ problems, I also had a brief infatuation with him and we smsed each other for 3 weeks but we didn’t stead ‘cause we found out that it was just infatuation… Don’t know if he’ll help me with this lie… Just sms-ed him… Haiz… This afternoon I almost cried… I was talking to Xinrui… And, she said a lot of things that well… I’ve neglected, like how the way I treated ben dan… She was right la, as usual… Then, at that time I was already scared and well, when she told me that, I felt like the lousier person on earth… I felt like I’ve gu fu da jia de qi wang on me… My parents, ben dan, my friends, and I think, even myself… It’s just that I’ve always said that I’ll change for the better and plan ahead… But no, I’m still the same eversince P6… And that I’ll only live for the moment and nothing else… Its like… I know they have been really disappointed with me… With my cowardliness, with my not wanting to face up to reality, with my being scared of what others think… I know… I know and… IM REALLY SORRY… I mean it this time. I’ll change. I’ll try to think of the future, I’ll try to stand in other people’s shoes and think for them. All I know how to say now is that Im really sorry, to Joyce, to my parents, to ben dan, to Scze We, to Xinrui, to everyone that I’ve wronged… IM SO SO SORRY!!!!!!!! [Feel like crying…]
her sweet memory was written @ 10:35 PM
Sunday, September 2, 2007
1 September
Teachers’ Day! Read Ms Chiang’s blog and found out that she’s getting married!!! So happy for her! It’s finally the September holidays so that means the Os are really getting really close le… Prelims presume after holidays so I better not slack during the one week! Im heading back to school on Tuesday for Physics lesson… For just 1 and a half hour… Don’t know what Farid will be able to teach in such a short period of time sia! Besides, how come Bowen hasn’t started its night classes? Yuying Sec like started last month or something la! And now it’s already so close to the Os! No wonder we’re all slacking away! By the way, heard the prom’s cancelled le… Stupid school don’t wanna organise. I wasn’t planning to go anyway… But a few of my friends were quite shocked ‘cause I guess they already decided what to buy for prom ba… K la, will stop here for today! Bye! [Hungry… Tired…]
her sweet memory was written @ 4:05 PM
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