4 September 2007

Tuesday2209

Been worried since yesterday… My bill came yesterday… And, well… It exceeded by a lot… I sent out 2000+ sms… Yeah… I know… So lihai of me… But… Haiz… I’ve been really worried what my dad will say when he sees the bill… I’ve also thought of many excuses la… But for now still stuck with the my friends got problems and so I helped them theory with abit of twist that I came up with at about 6pm… Decided to ask my godbrother to help as I know… By these 4 friends’ problems, its not enough to create 2000+ sms la… I was thinking that maybe I could tell my parents that on top of all my friends’ problems, I also had a brief infatuation with him and we smsed each other for 3 weeks but we didn’t stead ‘cause we found out that it was just infatuation… Don’t know if he’ll help me with this lie… Just sms-ed him… Haiz… This afternoon I almost cried… I was talking to Xinrui… And, she said a lot of things that well… I’ve neglected, like how the way I treated ben dan… She was right la, as usual… Then, at that time I was already scared and well, when she told me that, I felt like the lousier person on earth… I felt like I’ve gu fu da jia de qi wang on me… My parents, ben dan, my friends, and I think, even myself… It’s just that I’ve always said that I’ll change for the better and plan ahead… But no, I’m still the same eversince P6… And that I’ll only live for the moment and nothing else… Its like… I know they have been really disappointed with me… With my cowardliness, with my not wanting to face up to reality, with my being scared of what others think… I know… I know and… IM REALLY SORRY… I mean it this time. I’ll change. I’ll try to think of the future, I’ll try to stand in other people’s shoes and think for them. All I know how to say now is that Im really sorry, to Joyce, to my parents, to ben dan, to Scze We, to Xinrui, to everyone that I’ve wronged… IM SO SO SORRY!!!!!!!! [Feel like crying…]